Match Reports

Kendall Wanderers C 2 - 1 The Druids

Match Statistics

BSSL Division 3
Dorchester, MA
Kickoff Time:
Pitch Conditions:
Team Lineup:
Wallace, Carolan, Keane, Curley, Fitzgerald, Radford, Cummings, Weibe, Kennedy, Dromey, Kayes
Queeno, Regrut, Coffey, Williams, Lee, Mario
Team Formation:
Goal Scorers:
Coffey, Mario
Jarod Burton
Man of the Match:
Sean Kennedy

Petulant “linesmen”, half time conflagrations, three points for the C team and Seamus Dromey leaving the field with a broken heart, this Kendall Wanderers game had it all.

On a disappointing morning for lovers of the beautiful game and magnanimous victors, the C team set aside distracting news from across the pond and took the trip to Ceylon to face the imaginatively titled “Druids” (what kind of outfit names themselves after a pub?). A stuttering start to the season has seen the boys snatch two wins, but an early cup exit and some recent losses made this game an important one in this fledgling season.

The boys in black had already met the Inman square regulars in a preseason friendly in Waltham and with Kendall old boy Igor –in his flamboyant orange boots- aiming to pull the strings in the centre , Curley’s charges knew what to expect. The usual 4-5-1 formation was again the order of the day , with the C team looking to stifle runs up the middle. The team laid out with Wallace in goals, Carolan, Curley ,Keano and Fitzgerald at the back, Dromey, Weibe, Kennedy, Cummings and Radford across the midfield while Peter Kaes played the lone, foraging striker role.

Druids got off to the better start, playing some lively quick passes around trying to stretch the Kendall boys, but slowly things evened out as the battle in midfield intensified. Kennedy was giving a warm Tallaght welcome to guys coming through the middle, while a well rested Weibe got about with his usual piss and vinegar. Matt Cummings started to get the ball down on the deck and run at the defence and Kaes and sub Jarrod began to terrorize some of the more rotund members of the opposition. The officiating crew also started to stamp their inept authority on the game, with decisions receiving the full range of responses from both teams, from quizzical looks to full out, Irish accented tirades.

Finally the breakthrough came; sterling work in an advanced role by Mike Carolan led to a cross/shot by Jarrod which was coolly dispatched home with a thunderbolt shot from 35 inches by controversial over 30’s B team star Noel “I’m just happy to get out of the house” Coffey, who was just on to supply even more piss to the midfield. A raised three finger salute to this correspondent in the Banshee afterwards from the modest, reclusive poacher confirmed his total for the season, a number almost matched by his red-card accumulation. Druids regained the ascendancy after the goal, and put the Kendall boys under much pressure until the welcome respite of the half-time whistle.

Controversy ensued after the manager’s usual impassioned exhortations, as the oldest member and the baldest member of the Kendall C’s engaged in a vigorous and not for the faint hearted tete a tete. Details still remain sketchy as to what ensued during the melee but after much name calling and gesticulation, a stern look and some collar grabbing by Curley calmed the situation down. The horse- loving centre half’s genius was then revealed in all its glory as the C team –clearly motivated by the passions displayed at the half time break - tore into the sun-worshipping pagans’ team. Tackles were won all over the park as the C team sensed a team on the ropes, bright attacking football put the bad guys under enormous pressure.

Finally all the effort paid off as great passing was rewarded with a cool finish by someone. Unbelievably however the goal was called back. After a little consultation with his assistant a barely coherent referee explained to an incredulous Kendall posse, that he had spotted a C team handball in the build up.

However, in a novel and innovative approach to the advantage rule, he explained that he decided to let the offending team continue with the play for a little while anyway before cruelly disallowing the goal. Speculation was rife on the sideline and after the game as to the reasons for this new interpretation of a relatively simple rule with reasons ranging from “he wanted to see what would happen” to …….. well, pretty much any other musings are unprintable.

Undaunted, the third string continued their pressing, sensing a chance to kill the game off. A peach of a goal from Mario finally arrived as the pressure told off. The mercurial Albanian controlled the ball at the edge of the box and launched an unstoppable shot into the top corner. Wild celebrations ensued as the Kendall found themselves in an unusual position of having to defend a lead. Inevitably the Druids fought back, and with about fifteen minutes left pulled one back after a goal mouth scramble.

Nerves started to fray for the men in black as wave after wave of the Stonehenge-loving hood-wearers pushed forward but the rearguard held strong. Good performances were on display all over the pitch, from Louis (nicknamed Moose by some hard of hearing teammates), Mario who tracked back tirelessly, Matt in goals who threw himself about bravely and from the back four including “Diaper” Coffey, who desperately repelled everything thrown at them. Man of the match Sean Kennedy, playing with his usual smile on his face, continued to be a pest in the middle

And after an act of heroism that will go down in C team history, Seamus Dromey found himself face down on the turf with black shite plastered all over him. While competing aerially with the lanky opposition centre half, Dromey decided to attack the man and ball not with his head but, a little bit surprisingly, with his rib. Leaning at the waist at a somewhat oblique angle, the Kendall winger bravely threw his sternum at his aloft opponent who then cruelly and cravenly landed on top of him. As concerned teammates and medical staff looked on Seamus struggled to his feet to smile bemusedly at the referee who brandished a yellow card. The Dunmanway dynamo revealed afterwards that he was in a lot of pain in the aorta region to his team mates, who responded with hair tousling and comments regarding the ineffectiveness of treatments for rib pain anyway. A true hero.

As the clock winded down the tension on the Kendall sideline increased. Every decision by the officiating crew was greeted with hoots of derision, every call by a cacophony of complaining. Flags were raised only to be bafflingly lowered again, tempers were fraying. Finally the whistle blew after a four minute eternity of stoppage time and the C team rejoiced. More drama followed after the final whistle, as one of the assistant referees refused to shake hands with a member of the Kendall management because he was mean to him. And as he was approached by another teammate he uttered the now legendary phrase - “You guys are miserable people”. Miserable people indeed. The Wanderers toasted their misery and their victory over lunchtime bottles of Magners over ice.

The cock a hoop C team now face a two week layoff before a tricky tie with Harvard Medical .

Eamonn Fitzgerald

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