Match Reports

Kendall Wanderers C 2 - 7 OHP Gunners

Match Statistics

BSSL Division Three
Veterans Field, Waltham
Kickoff Time:
Pitch Conditions:
Team Lineup:
Starting eleven : Wallace, Radford, Flack, Bartley, Doolin, Phillipson, Costa, Jepson, Ashman, Flaherty, Burton
Jimenez, Ahmad, Smith, Mulkern, Regrut, Chamas, Queenan
Team Formation:
Goal Scorers:
Colin Flaherty, ?
Jarrod Burton, ?
Man of the Match:

Hopes were buoyed before the game by the A-Team (minus BA Baracus and loaded with Murdocks) defeating the National Champion, Battery Park Gunners, and our shiny new player Cobhan Phillipson rumored to be Jesus...well, I might be overstating the rumors, but hope was in the air. As usual, we pinged the ball around like we knew what we were doing and even found out that they were they were as jerk ridden as advertised as they had a guy lay an egg on our first free kick before the referee did anything...oh wait, no he didn't make him move. We knew we were in for a battle from the get go. It wasn't too much longer before the shine was knocked off our new player as he took a nice hit on the sideline while going up for a header, the type of hit that has become common place at the Wanderer games this season. Anyway, Todd and he worked the right sideline pretty well while Dan and Scotty were controlling the middle very well using both sides of the field as crosses came in from both sides from Lou and Cobhan narrowly missing forwards, Jarrod and Colin who had been aiding the wing work very well. Unfortunately, the Gunners found their legs and started making forays into Wanderer territory. They (wisely) realized that through the midfield was not the way to make it up field when they had speedsters up top with slow wandering backs guarding them (well at least Mr. Doolin and Tyler were admirably holding the fort while Todd, I'm really a midfielder, and I preferred moving forward while they refused to play down our side as much). Although the Kendall magi were able to trick them with smoke, mirrors, and double teams it was really the speedsters' inability to pass to their teammates that really seem to do them in time and again. Eventually, they called in the sniper. He hit Queeno toward the end of his shift, which led to the first goal by knee brace on the right side of the box. Soon afterwards, the sniper treated Bartley like one of the table hockey defenders spinning him around with each successive hit and since knee brace was using an Xbox, he got to his "hot zone" again on the right side of the box and scored again…which then caused him to tell us about his "hot zone". "Did he really just say that?" was whispered around the back and we vowed to give them their due. It wasn't long before we heard whistle to end the half. Eamo reminded us that our mistakes had cost us again, although he did remark that several of us were very slow...which might add to this. Unfortunately, we did not get to see Eamo's son reprise his "NEVER!!!" response to being asked to get off the field, which aptly shows anyone around who his father is... it was too good NOT to mention the incident THIS week.

Anyway, the second half kicked off with the starters and apparently the gaffer's talk helped, plus some time pinging the ball around in the first half. Eventually, Todd intercepted a ball as the Gunners were going forward, he and Shiny, worked some nice wing play and I think Shiny sent in a ball to Jarrod, who used a sweet mule kick to lay off a ball to Colin running through the box unmarked with only the keeper to beat and finished off what was easily the goal of the match by either team. Gunners 2 - Wanderers 1. Renewed hope was in the sails of the Wanderers with no signs of snipers from the Madison High School rooftop. The Gunners made meaningless attacks trying to skip the ball to their speedsters, but the midfield of Lou, Dan, Scotty, and Shiny acted as immediate outlets for the well oiled intercepting back line machine that looked in control of the game for a bit… but then a funny thing apparent deflection from Dan which often Matt had been told by referees in previous games could be picked up was judged to be a back pass...DOH!!! The Gunners jumped on the opportunity as fast as a fat kid eats cake. Bingo bango bongo, the score is 3-1 and the wind is gone from the sails of the Wanderers. It gets a little hazy at this point in the game as the levees protecting New Orleans are starting to crack and things seem to be going by us quickly (including Fast Brendan) and were in slow mo for the Gunners (see the exhibit of Slow, Fat Brendan). With an influx of substitutes, there seemed to be some renewed life as the Wanderers readily got the ball in the middle of the field and turned to find someone running on to the next pass, however, unfortunately the good wing play by Brendan and others would miss the final connection to get in the final third. The Gunners then scored again to make it 4-1. Ben soon came on and was able to coerce one of their players to nod in a goal for him from a corner kick (or so it seemed from my seat in back...I'm pretty sure Ben might be in on some of the betting rings that have plagued soccer as of late and going to a Div 3 BSSL game is certainly a new low for them). Stormin' Norman played admirably on the left side freeing up the bright shoed Ahmed on occasion along with Gordy and Dean launching attacks through the middle for a bit. Regrettably, Dean did take the worst of a change in tactics by the Gunners. Instead of using snipers, they took to spearing and Dean took a hit banned by the NFL that did not even render a yellow card here in Div 3 BSSL football, so we'll let the Kendall Wanderer public weigh in on who are the tougher lads...NFL footballers or BSSL footballers??? Remember, we don't have helmets for these spearing attacks, although we don't each weigh as much as one of new Fiats either...I'll say it's a PUSH for now. Around this same time the levees used for the first Hurricane attack by Irene broke again and the goal flooding was in full motion with 3 more goals to end with an embarrassing 7-2 score line. It did not show what had been done on the field and the improvements minor improvements from previous games. Apparently, we are still not able to find a rabbit's foot, horseshoe in someone's arse, a pot of gold, or a four leaf clover, but we do have Commoners on the horizon with more teams that we have come close to defeating, so it is only a matter of time before the sun shines on a dog's rump before the end of the season. Still Wandering in a C of dreams...remember the goal of the match and we'll send patent number 23423482934829348234 to get some more for the remaining games!!!

By: Brendan Bartley

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