Match Reports

Kendall Wanderers C 4 - 1 Zoinks FC

Match Statistics

BSSL Division Three
Medford High School
Kickoff Time:
45 Degrees and Cloudy
Pitch Conditions:
Mushy and Unbalanced Grass
Team Lineup:
Matt, Eamo, Mike Carolan, Curley, Deano, Jarrod, Nick, Scotty, Shane, Weibs, Bobby
Keano, Colin, Simba
Team Formation:
Goal Scorers:
Jarrod, Weibe, Scotty, Todd
Man of the Match:

The Kendall Wanderers C team arrived at the pitch on a blustery Saturday morning on the 5th of November to face FC Zoinks, with everything on the line. The team was well aware of the stakes—win and avoid relegation, lose and face the cold, soul-sucking purgatory that is the BSSL 4th division. So, it was no shock that each member of the team turned up with a look of steely focus and determination etched on their faces. Each man knew they could not accept the stinging disappointment that came from Wednesday’s near-win draw.

The team took to the mushy and unbalanced grass pitch with Matt in goal, Eamo and Mike Carolan in the back with Curley and Deano in the middle. In front of them on the wings were Jarrod and Nick, supported by Scotty, Shane, and Weibs in the middle. Alone up front featured #10 in your programs but #1 in our hearts, Bobby, a.k.a the greek god of “don’t think I won’t shoot from there!” The game started out a bit sloppy, as both sides did their best to adjust to the unpredictable nature of the poorly maintained field. But it was clear, early on, that on this day Kendall was the hungrier side. With some great early runs out of the left side from Nick and Bobby, Zoinks was back on their heels early and often. Keeping Zoinks pinned in their own end, with about 10 minutes gone, one such run found Bobby with the ball at his feet from the left side about 25 yards away from goal. With a thunderous crack, Bobby sent the ball screaming towards goal. As the ball rocketed inside the 18, it was clear the Zoinks’ keeper was more focused on not pissing himself then trying to make a play on the ball. Smelling the fear, and just maybe his opponent’s soiled undergarments, Jarrod flashed to the center of the goal to make a leaping, Matrix-style play on the ball, finishing it straight into the back of the net. Just like that, the tone was set! Kendall would not be denied on this day. At that point Donal, after three days in his hyperbaric chamber and a 12-hour calf massage, emerged from stasis to enter the game and solidify the back line (read: yell at everyone).

Although, Zoinks managed to equalize off a very fluky series of events, they would not be able enjoy the goal for very long. Kendall continued its onslaught in the Zoinks’ end and half-way through the first half were rewarded when a Zoinks’ clearance was intercepted by Dave Weibs, who proceeded to half-volley the aborted clearance attempt with some devilish top spin, dropping it right into the back of goal. 2-1 Kendall! Throughout the rest of the half, Kendall held firm, keeping the pressure on Zoinks. The defense deserves some special recognition here, as only 15 min into the game they were forced to adjust to the loss of their Coach, and spiritual guru, Eamon, who had to take himself out with a gimpy hamstring. Luckily, Scotty was able to fill in admirably at left back. With Todd coming into to patrol the middle, the team never seemed to miss a beat—evidenced by their perfect use of the offside trap to wipe away a Zoinks’ goal towards the end of the first half.

The first 15 min of the second half saw the last gasp of Zoinks come and go. As any beaten and trapped animal will do, they did their best to try to fly on the wings of desperation and pull victory from the jaws of a beat down. But with some stellar work in the back from Carolan, Curley, and Donal and several flying saves from Matt in goal, Zoinks would not be rewarded for their last ditch effort. So after a sluggish start, and with the insertion of supersubs Dean, Colin, and Simba, Kendall got right back on track. The continued pressure led to several close calls and forced Zoinks to resort to desperate fouling and cheap tactics to try and curb the Kendall attack. With the pummeling that Kendall was heaping on Zoinks, and with few other options, Zoinks was forced to give a foul on the left side from about 30 yards out. There was some debate over who would take the kick for Kendall, when their token English player stepped up with the look of a man possessed, and without having to say a word, it was clear who would be taking the kick. As a lifelong member, and now president, of the Des Walker fan club, Scotty was no stranger to pressure-packed situations. Clearly channeling the energy of his hero, Scotty stepped up to the free kick and in a flash sent the ball on what looked like a zip line that went from his foot straight into the upper 90 of the Zoinks’ goal. A goal, so magnificent, that even those who witnessed it first hand had to ask those around them if they had just seen it, too; just to make sure. With that, Kendall took a commanding 3-1 lead over Zoinks and never looked back. Fortunately, Kendall would not let the possibility of victory influence their play, and they kept the pressure up, leading to another score. Todd made a stupendous individual effort, taking on four different Zoinks’ defenders down the sideline and scoring from an impossible angle by shooting it right off the clearly outmatched keeper’s backside.

Now, 4-1, it was only a matter of waiting for the ref to blow the final whistle. Kendall had finally found the dominating performance they knew they were capable of. Staving off relegation and setting the tone as a force to be reckoned with in the 3rd division going into the spring season next year. A truly great top-to-bottom performance by the Kendall C team, which will not soon be forgot.

By: Ben Chamas

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