Match Reports

Kendall Wanderers 'B' 2 - 2 Inter Boston (Lost 5-4 in pens)

Match Statistics

ET Forekicks Sports Center Marlboro
Kickoff Time:
8:30 am
Pitch Conditions:
Team Lineup:
Tim, Dan Parks, Kenny, Mike Mac, Nick, Dave Sheehan, Dave Power, Clifford, Canny, JK, Andy
Ciaran, Shane, Rb
Team Formation:
Goal Scorers:
Dave Sheehan
Canny, Andy
Man of the Match:
Dave Sheehan for his part in both goals

"8.30am KO? In Marlboro? Are you out of your mind? Listen bud, we’re not the over 30's. We’re not programmed to be up at this time wiping sh&te off baby’s arses before we head to play a game in our slow, uncompetitive walkaround league . Get it sorted!" Needless to see these inner ramblings never reached the right people and Kendall B had to rise at the ass crack of dawn to head to the ET Forekicks Sports Center Marlboro...thankfully it had nothing to do with ESPN Sports Center although if I had seen Tommy Smyth there I'd tell him to stop talking like Darren Skehan or he'd be in for a boot in the onion bag.

Unsurprisingly, the writer was on time. However, the same could not be said for the rest of the boys which curtailed Andy’s pre-match team talk to a mere "there's a game on here fellas" and Barry's to 25 minutes. Sadly, the lack of punctuality of some meant Andy didn’t have time to include his now weekly "they're no MUGS" catchphrase.

The B's start brightly with Mike "Modello" Mac and Kenny "Miller High Life" McCarthy manning the middle aided by Dan "I wear 7 layers in the warm up though it's 100 degrees" and Nick "I still make mother jokes" Sze. The no nonsense center mids of Mike "I've got a woman in Ireland and I'm going to make it work despite the odds" Clifford and Dave "Spirit is a great place for post match food and drinks" Power were winning the 50/50s and it was quickly becoming noticeable why Inter Boston were at the wrong end of D3 (although to be fair they had about 8 players). Looking like a team of Sharon Stone’s during her Basic Instinct phase, there were gaps everywhere particularly on the wings. This saw Dave "I used to play for the first team" Sheehan and yours truly in acres and with quality crosses aplenty for the "wouldn’t score in JJ Foley's at 10 to 2" striking partnership of JK and the Gaffer, it was just a matter of time when the first would come…..

And as is so traditional with the B's, the concession of a stupid goal was just around the corner with Shane "I got the ball" MacElwee taking an IB play from behind (not that way) inside the box. Penalty! Despite Tim’s best efforts, the B boys found themselves 1-0 down and it was looking like "Kendall B in Cup Cockup" headline was heading for the printers. However, credit to the B's, there was no panic and we just went continued as we started and within minutes we were level with the Me putting in a low, inviting, "Jason McAteer in his Liverpool heyday" cross into the middle for the debut man Sheehan to race onto and finish past the fast approaching IB keeper. 1-1.

The equalizer failed to change the flow of the game and the Kendall continued to press. Soon after and despite some shocking offside calls, the B's took the lead. This time Andy dropped off the left wing and put in a dangerous ball which the keeper missed due to the pressure of the onrushing Sheehan ending in it coming off the IB defender and bouncing in. Pressure continued but at halftime it remained 2-1.

Second half began and the now 10 man IB team sought to get back into the game. It was noticeable that their defensive frailties were focused on at half time team talk making it harder for the B's to break them down. Most frustratingly, both linesmen continued to make some horrendous offside calls much to the abuse of the B’s and this began to irritate the referee (more on that later). Only 15 minutes in and another blunder at the back resulted in IB getting back to 2-2 (not sure what happened but Kenny was definitely at fault). It was to get worse for the Clareman. Minutes later, the referee’s patience wore too thin from all the backchat. After a harsh free kick was given against Kenny, the Wolf Tone's man made a few gestures of protestations a fake Italian from the North End would be proud of followed by a brief verbal outburst. Unfortunately, the ref mistook Kenny’s Shannon speak and confused "For F*ck sake ref" with "F*k you ref". Straight red.

It was clear that IB were playing for penos with their ever retreating back 4 and midfield rarely getting out of their half. The B's had a couple of chances, the best when Andy’s deft chip struck the cross bar.

However, it finished 2-2 at full time.

Barry and Andy gee’d the lads up for the extra time but it proved a frustrating half hour and so it was to be decided by penalties. Rb "I like to take the ball off my own players" McCauley, Clifford, Andy, Sheehan and Shane were selected. I think you can tell what happened. All the Paddies scored and the English man missed. IB scored all 5 of theirs to win. A disappointing end to a frustrating game, the B’s dominating performance was not reflected in the score line, their cup voyage over for 2009 at the first hurdle.

On the up side, Andy Sumner has since signed an endorsement with Pizza Hut. He will be joined by Stuart Pearce, Chris Waddle, Gareth Southgate, David Batty, Paul Ince, David Beckham, Darius Vassell, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher ( in a TV commercial coming soon.

By: James Canny

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